bl.essed

Im sorry Ive been gone. Unfortunately, I think this may be the end of the road for xanga and I. I'm not deactivating my account though, just in case I do come back. Find me if you can.

BE blessed.

With all that I am,
and all I will be...I love You

With all that I have,
and all I am given...I love You

All my desires,
nothing held back before You

And I surrender all...

That You may be glorified
You may be glorified
That You may be glorified...in me.

Love moves in mysterious ways. I know it's a title of a famous song but I'm not talking about the same kind of love that song identifies. I'm talking about THE love. The only love that has the power to heal. The only love that has the power to save. It's the love that's keeping me alive..for it is the only reason I live. Without this love, there is no joy or peace or redemption. Without this love, there is no salvation. He gives love, He breathes love..why? Because HE IS LOVE.

I didn't expect last week to happen the way it did..there were so many pivotal moments I felt like I was watching myself in a big screen. But God knew it would happen. In fact, He made it happen. My roller coaster spiritual life has been on the verge of collapse these past weeks. I've kept it on the downlow, but I've been dying inside. Slowly, I heard and believed the lies of the enemy..My doubts increased, my insecurities grew and I started to hate myself. I felt stupid and useless, ugly and worthless. I showed anger and bitterness to the people I love. I longed for acceptance to the few who I felt won't accept me. I was frustrated because I thought I can never be good enough. Who was I trying to impress? Who was I trying to be? ...I don't know. Last weekend, I attended a conference that changed my life. I have never felt so desperate for love than in those three days. I went with my girlfriends but no matter who I talked to, none seemed to understand me. I felt like a jerk/a hypocrite to attend this amazing conference and yet honestly be stuck in a deep pit of despair. But something miraculous happened to me that weekend...it felt like God used that conference to corner me and wake me up from my spiritual slumber. Every speaker, every worship session, every presentation spoke so clearly to me it felt like a dagger was going through my heart; the power of conviction. I longed for acceptance, I searched for love, and I finally found it once again.

I fell in love with Jesus.

 It's something more than butterflies, more than corny love songs....it's perfect. It's love. HE IS LOVE. I found the greatest love of my life..who created me as a masterpiece, who loves me like a bride, who gave His life so that we may share life together. I've been a Christian for 8 years but I feel like I've only scratched the surface. I have never felt love like this. Even when I served in leadership, the love didnt penetrate like this. Now it's something new. I finally felt the feeling of thinking I can never be forgiven, I can never be loved...but then I saw His arms open wide and felt His longing embrace.

Romans 8:38-39 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever seperate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can seperate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to seperate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

He said I love you and I give you my heart,
nothing in this world will ever pull us apart.
-All you are

It's been a while guys... my heart is filled with thanksgiving as another day has passed. God's grace is so wonderful. It's different when you hear about grace or when you see grace being given, but to experience grace..it leaves me with no words.

Where would I be if not for His grace?

His grace restores me, redeems me, releases me into His worship..His grace gives me hopes, dreams, it releases miracles and blessings.

Where would I be if not for His grace?